Thursday, 11 February 2010

Things to Make You go Hmm - Fast Facts to Impress Your Friends.

Believe it or not...

In 2008, two academics from Newcastle University wrote an article in a science journal that proved without a doubt that cows who are given names produce more milk than cows without names. Come on Daisy !
A snail can sleep for three years
A cat has 32 muscles in each ear
A goldfish has a memory of just three seconds (And you know
A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes
An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain
Mice giggle when you tickle them

Monday, 8 February 2010

Things to Make You go Hmmm! - Make sure you are not Breaking the Law

Now these facts will really startle you if they don't make you stay in bed for the rest of your life in a place of safety..........or is it!!!

There are many things which are illegal.  I know you might say, obviously if you were to shoplift or break the speed limit you might not be surprised to find yourself on the wrong side of the law.  But what if you weren't even aware you were breaking a law in the first place?

A lady who was lost driving her car in the UK did a very sensible thing.  She saw a parked police car and thought that is an ideal person to help me.  She safely parked her car behind the police car to ask directions.  Once out of her car the parked up policeman got out of his vehicle and promptly arrested her for parking in a bus stop - yes those of us who live in the UK should know this fact.

If you live in London, UK according to the 1839 motropolitan police act is is an offence which can result in a hefty fine today amounting to £200 if you beat your carpet in the street.  As a special dispensation, door mats are an exception to this rule providing they are beaten before 8am.

Two young Mum's were threatened with prosecution because they were quite unknowingly breaking the law.  How? They had been looking after each others daughters for 2 days a week- unpaid.  The crime - they had not registered their "supposed" business with the authorities.  If you have been breaking the law in this way  you can now relax because after a massive outcry the rules were reversed by ministers making it legal to have you children looked after for free by a friend.

Any football clubs who charge for entry into a game on Sunday is, in fact, breaking the law.  Why? because under the 1780 British law it is illegal for a house, room or an other area to be used for public entertainment if a fee has been charged.  Ooops! who wants the job of taking on FA (Football Association)

Not sure if this is actually legal or not but lets get a petition to get John Cleese arrested for brutaly beating his car, screaming like a maniac on the public highway, destroying perfectly good trees and having an offensive car  none of which is illegal but parking on the pavement is actually illegal.

Thursday, 21 January 2010

Things to Make you go Hmmm - Men Are Just Happier People

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original colour.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
One wallet and one pair of shoes one colour for all season.
You can wear shorts no matter what your legs look like.
You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.
You can do Xmas shopping for 25 relatives on the December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier !!!

What else could they be when this is all they have to do? !!!

Tuesday, 29 December 2009

Things to Make You go Hmmm!


An amazing 548 UK channels including movies
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No dish - No cable required only your PC

What Would the World be Like Without Children? Not nearly so Amusing, I think.

Two young sons from one family over the holiday period were about to watch a really scary film.  The youngest of the two brothers was becoming a bit anxious as the film began and remarked "I don't think I should watch this in case I have frightening dreams." His older brother, always the optomist, reassured him  "Don't worry about it even if you do have bad dreams - the visual effects will be fantastic!"

A young Mum was teaching her four year old daughter The Lord's Prayer. For the next week the Mum recited the prayer, the little girl  repeated it after her Mother. One night she said she was ready to say it by herself. Her Mum listened with pride, as she carefully said each line to the end..."And lead us not into temptation", she prayed, "but deliver us some e-mail, Amen."

The first thing a child learns when he gets a drum is that he'll never get another one.

A young boy was asked by his teacher "why do you think a  surgeon wears a mask when he performs an operation?" The young lad gave his reply. "So if he makes a muck of it the patient won't know who did it."

Tuesday, 15 December 2009

Things to Make you go Hmmm!

It is estimated that if everyone in the world had the same consumption rates as the United States. It would take 5.3 planets earths to support them.

Now I don't know about you but it seems to me that something is wrong here. Surely it is not necessary to consume so much in order to survive.  The USA has a consumption rate twice that of the next highest consuming country which is the UK. India uses less than the recommended quota.

Thursday, 10 December 2009

Things to Make you go Hmmm!

Things to make you go Hmmm! - Men are Just Happier People

Wedding dress £2000. Tux rental-£100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day holiday requires only one suitcase.
You20can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is £4.95 for a three-pack.

Monday, 7 December 2009

Things to Make you go Hmmm! - How fickle men are.

Two men waiting at the Pearly Gates strike up a conversation.
"How'd you die?" the first man asks the second.
"I froze to death," says the second.
"That's awful," says the first man. "How does it feel to freeze to
"It's very uncomfortable at first", says the second man. "You get
the shakes, and you get pains in all your fingers and toes. But
eventually, it's a very calm way to go. You get numb and you kind
of drift off, as if you're sleeping. How about you, how did you
"I had a heart attack," says the first man. "You see, I knew my
wife was cheating on me, so one day I showed up at home
unexpectedly. I ran up to the bedroom, and found her alone,
knitting. I ran down to the basement, but no one was hiding there,
either. I ran up to the second floor, but no one was hiding there
either. I ran as fast as I could to the attic, and just as I got
there, I had a massive heart attack and died."
The second man shakes his head. "That's so ironic," he says.
"What do you mean?" asks the first man.
"If you had only stopped to look in the freezer, we'd both still
be alive."