Things to Make You go Hmmm!

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What Would the World be Like Without Children? Not nearly so Amusing, I think.

Two young sons from one family over the holiday period were about to watch a really scary film.  The youngest of the two brothers was becoming a bit anxious as the film began and remarked "I don't think I should watch this in case I have frightening dreams." His older brother, always the optomist, reassured him  "Don't worry about it even if you do have bad dreams - the visual effects will be fantastic!"

A young Mum was teaching her four year old daughter The Lord's Prayer. For the next week the Mum recited the prayer, the little girl  repeated it after her Mother. One night she said she was ready to say it by herself. Her Mum listened with pride, as she carefully said each line to the end..."And lead us not into temptation", she prayed, "but deliver us some e-mail, Amen."

The first thing a child learns when he gets a drum is that he'll never get another one.

A young boy was asked by his teacher "why do you think a  surgeon wears a mask when he performs an operation?" The young lad gave his reply. "So if he makes a muck of it the patient won't know who did it."

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Things to Make you go Hmmm!

It is estimated that if everyone in the world had the same consumption rates as the United States. It would take 5.3 planets earths to support them.

Now I don't know about you but it seems to me that something is wrong here. Surely it is not necessary to consume so much in order to survive.  The USA has a consumption rate twice that of the next highest consuming country which is the UK. India uses less than the recommended quota.

Things to Make you go Hmmm!

Things to make you go Hmmm! - Men are Just Happier People


Wedding dress £2000. Tux rental-£100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day holiday requires only one suitcase.
You20can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is £4.95 for a three-pack.

Things to Make you go Hmmm! - How fickle men are.

Two men waiting at the Pearly Gates strike up a conversation.
"How'd you die?" the first man asks the second.
"I froze to death," says the second.
"That's awful," says the first man. "How does it feel to freeze to
death?"
"It's very uncomfortable at first", says the second man. "You get
the shakes, and you get pains in all your fingers and toes. But
eventually, it's a very calm way to go. You get numb and you kind
of drift off, as if you're sleeping. How about you, how did you
die?"
"I had a heart attack," says the first man. "You see, I knew my
wife was cheating on me, so one day I showed up at home
unexpectedly. I ran up to the bedroom, and found her alone,
knitting. I ran down to the basement, but no one was hiding there,
either. I ran up to the second floor, but no one was hiding there
either. I ran as fast as I could to the attic, and just as I got
there, I had a massive heart attack and died."
The second man shakes his head. "That's so ironic," he says.
"What do you mean?" asks the first man.
"If you had only stopped to look in the freezer, we'd both still
be alive."