Things to Make You go Hmmm!

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What Would the World be Like Without Children? Not nearly so Amusing, I think.

Two young sons from one family over the holiday period were about to watch a really scary film.  The youngest of the two brothers was becoming a bit anxious as the film began and remarked "I don't think I should watch this in case I have frightening dreams." His older brother, always the optomist, reassured him  "Don't worry about it even if you do have bad dreams - the visual effects will be fantastic!"

A young Mum was teaching her four year old daughter The Lord's Prayer. For the next week the Mum recited the prayer, the little girl  repeated it after her Mother. One night she said she was ready to say it by herself. Her Mum listened with pride, as she carefully said each line to the end..."And lead us not into temptation", she prayed, "but deliver us some e-mail, Amen."

The first thing a child learns when he gets a drum is that he'll never get another one.

A young boy was asked by his teacher "why do you think a  surgeon wears a mask when he performs an operation?" The young lad gave his reply. "So if he makes a muck of it the patient won't know who did it."

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Things to Make you go Hmmm!

It is estimated that if everyone in the world had the same consumption rates as the United States. It would take 5.3 planets earths to support them.

Now I don't know about you but it seems to me that something is wrong here. Surely it is not necessary to consume so much in order to survive.  The USA has a consumption rate twice that of the next highest consuming country which is the UK. India uses less than the recommended quota.

Things to Make you go Hmmm!

Things to make you go Hmmm! - Men are Just Happier People


Wedding dress £2000. Tux rental-£100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day holiday requires only one suitcase.
You20can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is £4.95 for a three-pack.

Things to Make you go Hmmm! - How fickle men are.

Two men waiting at the Pearly Gates strike up a conversation.
"How'd you die?" the first man asks the second.
"I froze to death," says the second.
"That's awful," says the first man. "How does it feel to freeze to
death?"
"It's very uncomfortable at first", says the second man. "You get
the shakes, and you get pains in all your fingers and toes. But
eventually, it's a very calm way to go. You get numb and you kind
of drift off, as if you're sleeping. How about you, how did you
die?"
"I had a heart attack," says the first man. "You see, I knew my
wife was cheating on me, so one day I showed up at home
unexpectedly. I ran up to the bedroom, and found her alone,
knitting. I ran down to the basement, but no one was hiding there,
either. I ran up to the second floor, but no one was hiding there
either. I ran as fast as I could to the attic, and just as I got
there, I had a massive heart attack and died."
The second man shakes his head. "That's so ironic," he says.
"What do you mean?" asks the first man.
"If you had only stopped to look in the freezer, we'd both still
be alive."

Things To Make You Go Hmmm - Men Are Just Happier People

MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE –
What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another petrol station toilet because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.

Things To Make You Go Hmmm...

You Know You're Living In 2009 When...

Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.

Leaving the house without your mobile phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or even 60) years of your life is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.

Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.

You get up in the morning and go online before getting your coffee.

Things To Make You Go Hmmm - 2009

You Know It's 2009 When ...

It's years since you've played Solitaire with real cards
Your family consists of three people and you have fifteen contact numbers for them
You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you
You park outside your house and use your mobile phone to see if anyone is in to help you carry the shopping
You use your credit card pin to set the microwave

Things to Make You Go Hmmm

If the statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.


In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase ... "goodnight, sleep tight."

Things to Make you go Hmmm! - Weird but Take a Closer Look

Tihs is a ruren, aoploeigs if you hvae arlaedy raed tihs, gmernlis on the bolg.....

Don't delete this just because it looks weird. Believe it or not, you can read it.


I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to rscheearcs at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, maens it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?

Things to Make You Go Hmmm! - Why do We Say Saved by the Bell?

• In the 1400's a law was passed in England which allowed a man to beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb.   That is where the expression "rule of thumb" comes from. 
• In the Middle Ages, before the days of modern medicine, determining whether a person was actually dead or not was not an exact science.  As a consequence,  when graves were excavated for any reason such as re-use of the land, it was found that up to 25% of coffins had claw marks on them.  Due to this macabre fact, when a person was buried it became common practice to make a hole  in the coffin, a length of rope was pushed through, this was fed up to the surface before burial and  a bell would be attached to the outside end.  If the deceased was not actually deceased they would have the opportunity to ring the bell and be heard - and hopefully dug up.  Bit of a shame if you weren't very popular.  This is the basis for the expression "saved by the bell".
• Why do we say "it's raining cats and dogs". Many years ago when thatch was a popular form of roofing, houses were build with lower roofs and no ceiling.  The warmest area of the house was the thatched roof, which was where household pets and other animals would sleep.  During heavy rain, however, the thatch often became damp, thus, the inhabitants of the roof would jump out to find somewhere else to rest. Hence the above expression.

Things to make you go Hmmm - Sandkat

Things to make you go Hmmm! . . just more extremely interesting stuff

This might look weird but don't delete it - you can read it.

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to rscheearcs at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, maens it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?